Bio: I love God and am Roman Catholic. I am a proud Amway IBO and Nutrilite Representative aspiring to be Young and Free. I design surgical tools for knee replacement surgery
It’s been a while and I’m not sorry.
A while ago I asked a few of the guys to teach me how to do pull ups. Or at least the exercises I need to do to work up to them. I had an older gentleman show me some exercises.
When he did, he started lecturing me on how losing weight would help out and make it easier to do pull ups. He went on to explain that doing 30 mins of cardio every other day would only burn a couple tablespoons of fat. I just listened because, well, after the 99th time this has happened to you you just kind of take it.
You see. Losing weight isn’t just about being skinny or looking great. Losing weight is about not having to deal with people judging your past, present, or future consistently.
I decide that picture is proof, so I found my old race comparison picture and downloaded it to my phone. I saw him walking out of the gym and showed it to him. He said wow, that’s great. And that’s all I needed to hear. I didn’t lecture him back or say anything, just showed him. On his way out he said take my number so we can work out together. He is older and has an 18 yo daughter, and per my moral standards I don’t exchange numbers with men who are in relationships (I didn’t know his relationship status at the time). I said that it’s very random when I work out and that if we meet at the same time it’ll be fate. So he leaves. 15 minutes later Kathy, my coworker, gets a phone call. It’s him. She said Sarah, it’s him calling for you. I was like weird, still completely unsuspecting. I don’t remember much of the conversation before this, but I basically said “so what’s up?” and he said “I want to know if you want to go out after work to get drinks some time”. And I said “I’m sorry but I have a lot going on, I work a full time job, this part time job, and own a business. Try again in two years.” He says “Ok, well 2 years is a long time, I’m going to try again in a month”.
It just goes to show that truly if a guy wants to ask a girl out, he will figure out a way.
The first time I’ve ever been asked on a date was by a 42 year old.
Soo… that brings me to my next topic.
I went to Chicago this past weekend. S&B weren’t there to pick me up, so 5D did. I was nervous I wouldn’t have anything to talk about with him. Then I found out how personable he is; and how similar we are. I found out how even though I thought he was phlegmatic, he’s actually really choleric. How open he is about his past and about details (something C never was). How he wants a hummer because of stupid drivers. How he was able to get me to do something without telling me to do it (huge deal). How passionate he is about being part of a team. How, when we were talking about moving on, he was excited about playing a role in B&S being a wingman team. And how, right after that I said yeah, because when that happens it’s going to create a surge on our team and move us forward as well. So our efforts in supporting them is going to be multiplied. And then three days later someone on his team wrote a message saying that 5D was teaching exactly what I said to him the week prior. He has pretty much everything from my list so far.
I don’t know how he feels. I can make all the excuses in the world saying why he wouldn’t text me to make conversation. It feels really good to get my hopes up that something could happen. That maybe, just maybe, he would be the one. But then the little voice in my head says, “don’t go down this road again. You remember what happened last time? The pain you felt when he ended up with someone else? Don’t be vulnerable. Don’t think about it.” and just like that I’m into depriving myself from something that makes me feel so much joy because of the anticipation of what could happen.
And it makes me want to cry.
When am I going to be all of someone’s list? When am I ever going to be loved?
Last night I dreamt I had this really great kiss with a guy from the gym. He’s really good looking and is going to school for pharmacy then his phd.
I can’t get it off my mind. It was too perfect.
Life updates: I took the spin instructor training today.
Just need cpr and to pass the test.
Who’s coming to my class? ! ?
So an interesting thing happened. I missed a weigh in, because it’s been so hot I’ve been drinking tons of water and usually my weigh in is on Mondays. If I eat I won’t weigh in right after and then I go to spin and won’t weigh in after that because I feel a ton will be water weight.
So I missed a week then a couple days. I weighed myself a couple days ago… 211! That’s four pounds lighter than my last weigh in. This is literally the lowest I ever remember being.
I also delay weighing in because I just don’t feel lighter and feel like I’m not going to be lighter do why bother.
What’s funny is that 211 surprised me so much. And now that I read the weight in the scale as so low, I’m like well….why isn’t my body a size smaller like I expected it to be? Where as on weeks where I feel like my body looks so good and has shrunk and I step on the scale and it’s like only one pound down or even up I get annoyed. Now I’m annoyed because I feel like the scale has changed but my body hasn’t.
Lesson learned, be happy about the change no matter what it is. Know that it is a process, not everything is going to line up all the time and a ton of it is mental. As long as I’m giving it my best week to week, I won’t have to do this forever. I also eventually won’t have to live in fear of going back to where I was, because I’m speaking that I won’t be in fear of that.
There’s nothing like a Supreme Court decision to bring out and enrage the uninformed masses. When these things come along I like to use them as a purging tool for my Facebook and Twitter feeds. I don’t delete those who disagree; I delete those who go completely bat-crap crazy, posting Jezebel article after painful Jezebel article about the decision. If I found myself saying “what an idiot” the…
Haven’t worked out in for days.
The struggle between balancing mad extra work hours to pay off loans and making time to work out so I can enjoy my time.after I don’t have to any more. It’s real.
My ambitious goal is to pay off loans in a year. Meaning $1400 a month for the next year.
Day off you say? What even is that?
I really want to get “A Thousand Years” on my iPod but I can’t get the original without some ugly Twilight cover. So I’m really hesitant.
You know you’re a nineties kid when you thought she meant the Vanessa Carlton song.
You REALLY know you’re a nineties kid when the song from Vanessa Carlton is A Thousand Miles
You really really know you’re a nineties kid when you acknowledge that not only is the Vanessa Carlton song not titled “a thousand years” nor was it actually released in the nineties but you’re subconscious is so programmed from that era that it made you think of it anyway.